Tracey's Transformation

February 11, 2007 Interesting Weekend

2008-02-11T20:21:00.000-06:00

I don't know if I have talked much about my status in relationship arena, but I am divorced. Separated in 2004 and divorced was final in May of 2007. Dating at this age, well it is just a pain in the, well you know what! lol The men I have met haven't been my cup of tea. One day the right one will come along and I am not in a rush, but would be nice to have someone of the opposite sex to go do things with. Well Friday night this 48 year old chick had me a 33 year old cowboy!!! Yippee Ki I Yee!!!! We had been chatting for several months and finally decided to meet each other. He lives about an hour away from me and drove down for the evening. We met for a few drinks and then came back to my place for more drinks and conversation. It was a very nice evening. Don't worry, I had a safe call and check in's in place and he was aware of it all. It was a big boost to my ego, let me tell you! That should last for awhile.

Now Saturday I realized that rum must dehydrate you. I could not get enough to drink. Was still making up for it on Sunday and today. I did weigh Saturday morning and was down to 245 lbs. So that is another 2 lbs loss. It seems to be fitting into my own unique pattern that I have established. So for now I will go with the flo and not stress over it!!! Was talking to one of my good friends last night, and was saying how I am still not seeing the changes in the mirror yet. I see some difference, but they are slight in my eyes. This will change and I am keeping myself aware of it. I am starting to get into a lot of clothes that I haven't been able too. I think another 20 lbs and my mind will finally kick in. I think part of it, is my stomach still sticks out, so when that goes down some more, my brain will finally be able to see it. Everyone around me can, so I will believe them, I am not going to agrue! I am taking the compliments with style and grace! hee hee!!!

Glad everyone is hanging in there...remember one day at a time!

Be Blessed!

February 7, 2008 Almost the end of R3

2008-02-07T22:21:00.000-06:00

Well I am back from the dead! I am still on Releana and still moving forward and strong. I just had to take a sabbatical from the computer.

I was at a stall and my body just didn't want to co-operate. I think the scale saw 250 lbs and decided that it was fat and happy sitting right there! I wasn't but it was! I decided that I was going to let nature take it's course and ride it out. I tried a steak day and an egg day, not in a row, and it did nothing. I was having flashbacks of all the other times (not hcg) and I would freeze around 20 lbs. I kept telling myself that i had lost over 30 lbs so I could keep going and my body was just going to have to get it together and join my soul and spirit. I had noticed that I was starting to get frustrated at everyone's losses. A 1lb a day here and there and everywhere!!! My poor scale just stood there. My brain was heading into a not so good of place, so I knew I needed to take a break from the computer. Just needed to ride this one out by myself. I love all of your support and I love sharing in everyones joy, but sometimes you just need to get your own sh*t together! LOL

Well my body did get over its hump, but it took almost 3 weeks. But this time I didn't let myself get to the point of total frustration. I knew it would work, but just had to let this mass of flesh decide to join the rest of me. I think the fat was moving on my body though. This was a time when I got the most compliments at work. Everyone telling me that they could really tell I was losing more! I accepted their compliments and told me body...see now lets get that scale in gear! LOL.

It finally happened on Monday, February 4. I hit 247 lbs!!! I have noticed that I don't lose in a steady stream. My is more like hurdle to hurdle. I go a few days the same and then lose a lb or two, then stay the same for another 7-10 days and then drop 2 -3 lbs. I have planted that in my brain. So if I start whining about not losing, please remind me!

I am really noticing the loss of fat in my body. Especially in my lower abdomen. My stomach still needs help.....lol.....but my body is still responding to the last on last off method of fat placement! Still losing in all areas of my body, I just want more in my stomach. But it is coming off, so I will have to be patient and let it happen on its own accord. Just keep following the Hcg diet and IT WILL COME!!!

I have read on some blogs and in groups comments about the great thing about this is you lose the fat and it re distributes itself. I think this is a YMMV. I think that it really depends on how your body retains the fat in the first place. Like I have said before, I am an apple shape. The majority of my fat is in the stomach and lower abdomen. My skin is starting to get really loose in my lower gut and on the side of my waist. I think my skin is past the point of springing back to life! lol Thank God for plastic surgeons!

Be Blessed!

January 9, 2008 Hunger starting to fade

2008-01-10T01:03:00.000-06:00

Well I have been peeing like a race horse the past two days. Do race horses really pee alot? H'mmmm. Have to do some research on that!

Hunger is getting better. Slow but sure. I brought some mushroom broth today, that seems to help some. Still haven't measured from last time...dang it!

I have to confess and come clean...I need some kind of 12 step support group. I am a prograstinator!!! That is one of the things I am trying to work on for 2008. So hopefully I will lose more weight this year and junk from the house! lol

Well I need to get to bed...really tired today.

Be Blessed!

January 7, 2008 Day 1 R3P2

2008-01-08T01:33:00.000-06:00

Well I am starting my third round today. Starting weight at 251, so held my own for a week. That was good. Played with my blog a bit. Finally figured out how to get the code for the virtual model. Had it done for 2 months but couldn't figure out how to get it on my page.

Since I didn't load this time, only did P3 for a week, I was more hungry today. Will take an extra apple tomorrow. Seems I level out at night time. Just in the mid morning it really hit me today. Tomorrow night I will make some soup to take to help me feel full. Was going to do it tonight, but Football was one. So got engrossed in that. Geaux Tigers!!! By Wednesday or Thursday I will really have the hcg in my system, so the hunger will subside.

Had my last party this past Saturday. Everyone was surprised and happy about the weight I have lost so far. Did pretty good, did have some starches, but limited. A roll and two bites of the baked beans I made. Had to taste those! Wanted to make sure I didn't poison anyone!

Will got out with my one friend on Thursday night. Will go somewhere where I can have a steak and substitute the potato for some broccoli. But then that will be over with. Then will not have to watch her get moody because I wont eat off protocol. I don't harass her because she orders all her food without any seasonings! Yuck! LOL

Well time for bed and the X-files!

Be Blessed!

Tracey

January 3, 2008 Doing Good

2008-01-03T22:51:00.000-06:00

Well I had my weigh in on 12/31 and I lost a total of 14 lbs this round. I think that was wonderful with Christmas in there. So I ended up 251!!! Can you say TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY ONE LBS!!!! I know some people will look at that number and think...Whoa! That's a lot!!! I can remember back in the day when my scale hit that number. I swore I would never let the scale get higher than that! Geez, we can fool ourselves can't we! But I never thought I would look at 251 fondly! Funny how a different perspective makes things look. I will take my measurements this weekend. I could do it now, but I am just plain bushed. Work has been really stressful, but I think that I am just doing it to myself. I get to a point where I just have to get rid of my stacks! They are really bugging me. So I am working on those now.

I am doing phase 3 for the rest of this week and will be back to phase 2 on Sunday or Monday. Not going to take the whole phase 3 this time. So I won't do any load days. You know, I really don't like them! Too much food! Not having many cravings this time. Today I just wanted a couple bites of cheese. Not a whole bunch, but just a couple. I will bring a cheese stick tomorrow and probably won't want it! LOL

Have one more Holiday party this weekend and then a get together next week with a friend. That brings me to something that I have been thinking about but never put down in words yet. Why is it that some people don't want you to succeed? They say they want it, but when you have success it really gets to them. It seems to get them upset and down. The friend I haven't met with yet is one such person. She has a weight problem also, and when she was losing, I cheered her along all the way. Now that it is my turn, it is a whole other story. She acts like I have abandoned her when I won't go out to eat with her or tell her that I have to wait until I am on phase 3 portion of my diet. I have suggested she just come to the house and we exchange gifts, but she said she will wait! With a big SIGH after that statement!! PLEASE!!!! Get a grip!

Have been doing more research on my Hidradenitis and found that they are doing a study with Zinc and 80% in the study had good results with it. So I found the article that was published and I am going to try that dosage and see if it helps with me. I hate this stuff!!! My poor armpits are so scarred from this. I guess my future career of being an armpit model is ruined!!! WAA WAA!!!

Well off to bed!

Be Blessed!

Tracey

January 2, 2008 I AM STILL HERE

2008-01-03T01:46:00.000-06:00

Just a quick post to let everyone know that I am still out here. Still doing good and will post all the details tomorrow.

Ciao!

December 18, 2007 1.5 lb or 3.5 lbs...you decide!

2007-12-18T23:17:00.000-06:00

Had my appointment with the clinic this morning. On my scale I think it was 257 (not digital). So that would have left me with a 1.5 loss from 258.5. I got on the clinic scale and it also showed 257 , but they deduct 2 lbs for clothes. So they have me down for 255. So I think a poll should be done. Should I take the 255 and count the 2 extra pounds? LOL Jonesing for some extra lbs here! LOL

They couldn't think if they had any other diabetics on the Releana. They had a couple on the optifast diet....YUCK! And I got the talk again about not weighing so much, if not seeing the scale move every morning gets depressing. They have a few that really freak out with the scale, so they only weigh in there. I don't think I could go 2 weeks without weighing. Got my lipo fat reducing shot. It is a B12 shot mixed with some fat releasing herbs and/or amino acids in it. I will have to look for that paperwork and see what the other ingredients are. I asked about the reason why they have us use 5-6 oz of protein per meal and not the 3.5 oz. They were having problems when they first started with patients not feeling well, being dizzy and weak, etc. So they called up Releana and they adviced to increase. Said they were having some of the same issues and advised their patients to increase and it didn't seem to effect the weight loss. Now I don't know how scientific the decision was to come up with this reasoning. But I am still losing, so I think I will stay on the 5 oz of protein. And when measuring on a scale, it is only two more extra bites.

So what have I learned here? That if I stick with the plan, the weight has to come off. Might not come off when I want it, but it will come off. Do I have to like it that I don't have nice smooth weight losses like some people? No I don't, but I have to accept it. And accepting it is not settling. Just have to take it as it is. This is how my body is working right now. My body has shown a pattern during both cycles of P2. So if I start to whimper and throw another temper tantrum in R3, you all have my permission to REMIND me that I have been down this road before. I will make it past all the detours and bumps in the road and get to my destination. Deal?

When I look in the mirror I still see this big round gut. But I do notice the other parts of my body that has slimmed down. I can now scratch the middle of my back..matter of fact, all over it! Haven't been able to do that in awhile. And when I am bending over in a chair, my tummy is not so much in the way now. I am getting my lap back. Haven't seen that in ages! I have been losing in all areas, but seems my gut has a ways to go. If I could figure out how to post the pictures, I would. I am going to have to work on that one. But I think my losing of fat is going on a cycle of LILO (cost accounting terms) Last in, last out! When I am down to goal, my measurements will probably be 38-36-38. Right now it is 50-56-55. Can you say APPLE! And then I noticed on Biz's measurements, my thighs are an inch smaller than her last measurement. So can you now say APPLE on a stick! LOL But all that to say this, I went to get my hair cut tonight. I just started this diet when I got my last haircut. My stylist, David, told me he almost didn't recognize me. I had to go to the bathroom when I got there and he was working on another client. He said he saw a woman go to the bathroom, then it hit him that it was me. So that boosted my ego a bit! Woohoo!!!! So one day soon, I will look in the mirror and notice my gut isn't so big! It will come and I look forward to that day!

Thanks everyone for your comments, they mean so much to me!

Be Blessed!

Tracey

December 17, 2007 2 LBS GONE!

2007-12-18T01:09:00.000-06:00

Well Well Well...what the heck is going on! Don't understand it for the life of me. Can go a whole week and not budge much and then whamo, 2 lbs fall off. Will be interesting to see what tomorrow brings.

I am feeling good, energy wise and my blood sugars are staying stable. I go to the clinic in the morning for a weigh in and will talk to them about this. Will see if they are seeing any other patients with this kind of pattern. Or if they have any other diabetics on their roll call and how they are doing. Oh, Biz I will not forget to ask about the extra protein they have me eating.

I am get a newsletter from Dr. Joe Pendergast and he had a video talking about Insulin Resistance and Oxidative Stress. I guess a new paper came out on that, so I want to find it and see what that has to say. I thought losing 25 lbs would help that, but so far it hasn't. My body is stubborn! I keep telling it that it is not going to win! I need to get back in the research mode.

Had one of the older ladies in the office come up to me today and whisper in my ear do keep doing whatever I was doing cuz she can really tell it in my face! She was so sweet!

Biz - I will send you an email tomorrow after I meet with the clinic. Let you know what they
say.

Amy - I think my other hormones are okay, but you never know. I wonder if low progesterone
effects weight loss. I will have to look that up too. And I think I will put a post out to the
group too. See if I there are any more diabetics out there. See if they have ran into
anything.

cb9094 - Thanks for your vibes!!! I will take all I can get! I will STOP second guessing myself
and just let the protocol do what it is supposed to do.

You gals are the greatest and I am very lucky to have found you all! Don't know if I could have done this without you all. Well I might have, but it sure would have been very lonely!!!! I just have to go along for the ride and see where this takes me! The ride maybe bumpy...but the end of the trip will be well worth it!

Be Blessed!

Tracey

December 16, 2007 SLOW!!!!!

2007-12-17T01:28:00.000-06:00

Well everyone, sorry for no posts in a few days. Well I am still slow! The scale has only moved down .5 lbs! But in thinking these past few days. I am trying hard not to get frustrated and doing a lot of self talk. What every you want to call it! The one thought that I have to keep putting it out of my head is that this is not going to work for me. Be like all the rest, hit a certain point and then it peters out! (had some of them too...Oh that is for another blog! LOL) It has to work..that is all there is to it. But I may have been sabotaging myself. I have been forgetting to take my night dose of Hcg! What a pre menopausal woman I am! LOL (Just took my night time dose!) So I have not had the full amount, that doesn't help! And I looked back on old info and I did really slow losing at the same time, last round. I remember on my 2 week weigh in telling the lady about this and she advised not to weigh everyday. So it could be that also. Or it could just be that at one point in my life this was a comfortable weight! Yeah like 2 weeks! LOL I can't remember hanging around in the 250's before. But it could have been when I was first married.

So everyone please send your vibes that this gnawing feeling will leave me and the scales move more! When my doctor told me that with diabetes your body doesn't like to lose weight...he was sure right! When I see people losing weight on the here or my diabetes groups, I am so happy for them and then a little disappointed that I have to haul this road. Why can some people just have the weight fly off and others it takes forever? But it was mine in the making for not getting my weight under control sooner. Now the damage is done and I have to deal with all that comes with it.

But I am going to stay on plan and keep with protocol with the food. If this diet is soooo sensative that I can't use lotion on my aligator skin. Well it can just suck a big toe! LOL I can't live my life second guessing everything I do. I just don't do well going down that road. If I keep eating the way I am supposed too, it will have to come off, right??????? Tell me I am right!!!!

Love you all and be blessed!

Tracey

December 13 2007 Still the same!

2007-12-14T01:23:00.000-06:00

Well I am still hanging in there at 259. I am thinking about what is going on and have to check something out. Hate to keep everyone in suspense, but I am whipped to day. Mood has lifted and the yearning seems to be lifting a little, not as bad as it was. Didn't feel like I had to have something to munch on all day.

Everyone have a great day!

Be Blessed!

Tracey

December 12, 2007 Blah's

2007-12-13T01:08:00.000-06:00

Weight 259

Still the same! So I thought, I will measure, that will lift my spirits! Well I lost 5 inches. That didn't help! But at least 3 inches came of my upper stomach. I do 2 measurements of my stomach as I am long waisted. My other waist measurement stayed the same. Lost an inch in my hips. So now my hips are smaller then my waist! Everyone at work is saying that they can really see a difference, but I am not at that spot yet. The other inch came from my bicep and thigh. It is progress, I know that, but just in a funky mood today. It will pass!!! Have stayed on plan, but still having that yearning for something, can't put my finger on it. It is not hunger per say, but something that I must be missing or needing.

Tomorrow is another day and hope this cloud passes soon.

Be Blessed!

Tracey

2007-12-11T01:34:00.000-06:00

R2P2 270
yesterday 259
today 259
loss/gain 0
total this round 11 lbs.

Well I am happy with no weight gone, it could have been a gain. I just have to remember...Run from the sample ladies at the grocery store! LOL But today I did good on protocol. Everything within the plan for P2. Ate my apple around noon and didn't get to lunch until 2:30. Had supper at 9:00. Made a kung pao chicken...not to bad, still have to play around with the seasonings.

Biz..I don't know why the clinic told me to increase my protein. I go in on the 17th for weigh in, so I will ask them. Maybe it was because of my diabetes. Because the printed instructions they have printed for everyone does show the 3.5 oz for protein at meals.

I forgot to measure....Grrrrr. Will have to do that tomorrow night.

Well the ice storm has cometh, so I better keep this short and sweet and get to bed, will have to get up early in the morning and try and make it into work. I hate the ice!

Be Blessed!

Tracey

December 9, 2007

2007-12-09T23:15:00.000-06:00

R2P2 starting weight 270
yesterday 260
today 259
loss/gain -1.0 lbs

Happy Dance Time!!!! Now tomorrow it might all catch up with me. But I will take the 1 lb loss today. Last night or should I say middle of the night my IBS kicked in. Don't know why, haven't had alot of greens. Mine usually hits me sporadically, just hits me whenever. But thank goodness it is not a major issue in my life. So today I just ate my protein and cucumbers. Didn't have my fruit. Kinda felt woozy through out the day. Think I am having my morning sickness again. Had that last round too. But I least I know what it is and know it will pass in a couple days.

Biz - You had asked about the clinic I am going to. My internal med doctor also has a weightloss clinic. He used to do it in his office, but insurance doesn't pay for it. So it was better for him to set up a separate office. That way he doesn't have to fight with patients when their insurance company doesn't pay for an office visit. They know up front going to the weightloss clinic that the insurance company will not pay for most of the services. When it was in his office, he had a nurse practioner seeing those patients. At that time he offered the Medifast, HMR type diet. The shakes and replacement meals. Well that is not for me. I need to chew food, not drink it!!! LOL. We still couldn't get my triglycerides down. So he wanted me to check them out again, said they had something new. I went and visited them and they told me about Releana. I got the info and told them I would make a decision and call them back. I had to do my research first. I was a little skeptical at first. But then found the yahoo groups and read and read. When I just considered the diet, at first it was no way, but read how most people didn't have hunger pains. So I decided that time was a wasting and took the plunge. They use Dr. S's protocol. The only difference is that they said I could eat 5 - 6 oz of protein instead of the 3.5 oz of protein. So I am getting more calories than the 500 per day. So I knew that I might not lose as fast as you all doing it by yourselves. But I am fine with that. I have lost more than my past history of 15 lbs and then stalls. So WOOHOO!!!

Well it is time to crawl into bed.

Be Blessed!

Tracey

December 8, 2007 Day 6 R2 VLCD

2007-12-08T15:46:00.000-06:00

Pre load weight 262
12/4 After Load 270
12/5 1 VLCD 266
12/6 2 VLCD 261.5
12/7 3 VLCD 261
12/8 4 VLCD 260

2 lb loss from R1P3. Yippee!

Hello Everyone! My name is Tracey and I am a massage addict! There I have said it! I do truly enjoy my massage Saturdays. And as I am typing I am hearing a faint call from the bathroom. It is beckoning me to come soak in a nice warm tub! I think I will take my water jug and soak for awhile, but after I get my thoughts down on paper....well make that a laptop!

But back to this weight...I am very glad to see that 1 lb gone. Had an interesting day yesterday. I couldn't get satisfied at all. Even to the point where my mouth would salivate like you waived a nice piece of pepperoni, mushroom and extra cheese pizza under my nose! I wasn't craving any foods in specific, just the feeling of being empty. Like I needed something, but couldn't quite put my finger on it. Still feeling a little bit like that today...even as I am typing my mouth is watering. LOL So I am going to have some extra protein for supper and see if that helps. But yesterday I did imbibe in off limit foods. Ladies and Gents...when you are feeling this way, take my advice and don't go grocery shopping when they ladies are their with their samples! I am not going to beat myself up over it either. I have enough issues in my life, don't need to add that on to it. This is a journey to love myself, so that is what I am going to do. Just give myself a hug, look in the mirror and say "Hey girl, a bump in the road, so shake it off and let's move forward. No time to look back and dwell on it. It is done and over. Capice!" So if the extra protein doesn't help tomorrow, I might have a couple ounces of cheese with my apple. See if that helps. But it could be hormone related too, I am feeling a zit rising up on my chin. Who knows I may get a period. With my PCOS I am never regular and have had only 2 this year. So I might end the year with a bang! Doctor did a FSH test for menopause on me in October. I am no where near menopause so that rules that out! On a scale of 3 - 13, over 13 is post menopausal I am a 4.9. But I hope this feeling passes. It will. It may effect the loss, but we have to learn to deal with the bumps in the road. Like I have read on all you veterans blogs, each round does seem to take on its own twists and turns. I guess that is to keep this journey interesting and intriguing. Makes use think and ponder, but one thing that is nice is if we stay on protocol it will work. And if it takes me a little longer, I guess I will stop and smell the roses too!

Now about Biz's revelation today! How nice and special that was for her. To look into a mirror and see the new and improved staring back at you! I have not had that revelation yet. I am so happy for her and all of you out there that have that experience. But I am having "AHA" moments! They are small, but I relish in them. Like this week I have really noticed my ankles, feeling the tendons, muscles and bones. Rubbing your hand over the skin..your brain firing off...H'mmmm Is that bone or is it a tendon? Haven't felt that for awhile. And then a nice smile comes over my face. Today during my massage I really noticed it in my back too. Feeling more of my bones as the massage went on. Also noticed that I was thinner on my sides around the waist and hips. And my fat! Well, let me tell you about my fat! ha ha I can feel it breaking down!!! Getting a little jiggly here. Which is a good thing. My fat around my stomach is solid, so the jiggling is relished. It is breaking down. So right now I guess I am noticing my parts! Hey, Parts is Parts! God I am old! LOL And that day is coming soon, when all the parts become one and have that wonderful revelation of that hot mamma staring back at me! WOOHOO!!! Party Time!

Well that tub is a calling...so off to take a nice soak, even going to dim the lights, get some candles going and turn on some mood music! Watch out world!!!

Be Blessed!

Tracey

December 6, 1007 - Day 3 VLCD

2007-12-07T01:24:00.000-06:00

Okay..I just posted and it doesn't look like it worked! Grrrr! Here is a short recap and I will blog more tomorrow if the first post didn't work.

But recap.... gained 8 lbs during load. Started VLCD on Tuesday. Wednesday morning dropped 4 lbs and this morning I dropped another 4.5 lbs. Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Love everyone here and need to get this butt to bed!

Be Blessed

Tracey

December 6, 1007 - Day 3 VLCD

2007-12-06T21:57:00.000-06:00

Started the official VLCD on Tuesday the 4th. Yesterday I was down 4 lbs. and today when I weighed I was down 4 + lbs. Couldn't tell if it was one lb or 1/2 a pound. So I will call it 1/2. Yippee!!! So I am now 261 1/2 pounds. My new goal is breaking into the 250's. My oh My! How long has it been since I have been in the 250's. I will have to go back to the days of Virgina Beach, young and in love, TOP GUN...damn...21 years ago! Now that is a long time! Dang...time really does fly! Can't even believe how fast the year has gone, let alone it has been 3 years since ex left. And has been a pleasurable 3 years! hee hee. But a nice time to reflect on me and myself and I. Guess I will use this time wisely and purge out all my bad habits before I inflict them on my next victim! LOL

How have I been feeling this round. Pretty good, no aversion to chicken yet, so that is good! But having a hunger. But not normal hunger. I figured it out this afternoon what it was. Okay, please don't throw stones, but I still smoke. And now that winter has hit, I don't go out for cigarettes on breaks because we cant smoke in front our building. Too cold and it snowed all day today. So it was from the nicotine withdrawl. So I got out my patches to put on tomorrow. After the beginning of the year my company will pay for the Chantix. But I can only handle one challenge at a time. So after more of the weight is off, then the cigarettes will come next. So my body has to adjust to not smoking for longer hours, then I should be fine.

Oh..I ordered the book..so I got to get on the HCG BOOK CLUB blog. I will work on my charts tomorrow. then get my ticker back on here.

Be Blessed!

Tracey

December 4, 2007 Day 1 VLCD

2007-12-05T00:35:00.000-06:00

Well I started my VLCD today. Scale showed 270 so that is an 8 lb gain. I will update my ticker later. I have to get up early tomorrow, have an early meeting. An all day one...you know what? I hate meetings! And this one continues Thursday too! Have to do a gap analysis on a new practice management system.

Today I had a cucumber and meatloaf and apple. Chicken and salad for supper. Got my water in too. That is a good thing! Hope to see the scales move in the morning. I feel bloated all day. Doesn't look like I am retaining any water...just blah! Hope it is not the morning sickness visiting again this round. Didn't like it last time. But I think into the second week it was better.

Short and sweet today..cuz I am off to bed!

Be Blessed!

Tracey

December 3, 2007 - Last of Load!

2007-12-04T00:32:00.000-06:00

My last load day. I really don't like these. I can't believe it I am saying that!!! I am a new women. I just get to stuffed, not that I am eating a huge amount, but just more than P2 and P3. Plus the Byetta with my stomach. So I hope tomorrow goes well and I am not hungry! That is the goal. No hunger.

So what did I eat for my load. Well I technically had an extra day, hence no hcg was taken on Saturday. On Saturday I wanted biscuits and gravy, but the ice storm halted that one. I had oatmeal with 1 Tbs of brown sugar. Then I ate around 4 and had a chimichanga and some chips and cheese dip. Oh...can't forget the Margarita. Didn't finish the chimichanga. Later that evening I had a bowl of Stuffed green pepper soup. Sunday I had a meatball sandwich and threw away half of the bread and some cheese cake bites. Was still stuffed and had a mushroom soup for dinner. Today I had a mini bagel with cream cheese for breakfast. Roast Beef with mashed taters and green beans. Snack of celery and cream cheese and apple. Supper was a turkey wrap and a bowl of potato soup. Will see what the official damage was tomorrow morning. Got all my water in today. Those weekends just throw me off. But I will take Biz's advise and get me a jug to carry around. I know I have a liter one around here.

Thanks for the article Amy. I love finding stuff on the net too. I keep a baggie of nuts at work. Last time I needed a handful in the afternoon. Will see what this time brings. But I keep them there just to be prepared. Better than having a dip in blood sugar and have to raid the vending machine. I usually keep an extra apple at work too.

Well this chicky needs to get in bed. Will let you know how I do tomorrow.

Be Blessed!

Tracey

December 2, 2007 Where's my Head!!!

2007-12-03T00:51:00.000-06:00

Where do I begin...To tell the story of how great love can be!! Oh hold on...wrong blog! LOL

I had this great blog written yesterday, so insightful, so inspiring and then my laptop screen went blank and I lost it! Don't you just hate that. I had to run out and when I got back home, it was just not the same. Hate when this happens!! But that has been my weekend. I feel like standing and screaming wondering if anyone will hear.

Well this was my load weekend. You know what is very important in Dr. S's protocol about the load. Ding..ding...ding!!! Give up...want me to tell you? The Hcg!!!! Who would have thunk!!! Yes yours truly started my load on Saturday without the hcg! I weighed this morning and have gained 5 lbs. So I am now 267. Wonder what tomorrow will bring. So I will officially start my R2P2 on Tuesday.

Now about loading...It hasn't met my expectations. Imagine that! Food not meeting my expectations. Is it the diet or just me growing up? Why now and never before? I do know that the food was good, but it wasn't great! Now the margarita was great! But I am not a big drinker, so it was refreshing and the salt on the rim! Yummy! I am a salt junkie and blessed with that not causing water retention. But the food just isn't doing it for me, maybe it is because I took my Byetta with the meals. The stomach aches are really not fun. After I ate today, I spent 3 hours on the couch. Just don't like the feeling, but it helps with not wanting to eat. If you feel like crap afterwards, you tend not to want to indulge. But I do appreciate this whole journey. Makes you think, instead of react. Why was it easy to just eat something before without giving it a second thought? Or is this just my time, my season to finally get it all. Sometimes it takes awhile to get through this thick head! LOL Funny how we fool ourselves, infront of God and everybody! Our should I just say I am a late bloomer...yeah, that's the ticket! A late bloomer!!!

It still hard to grasp that by this spring I should have most of the weight off this body! 103 lbs if I stay at the clinic goal of 180lbs. WOW...that is one young celebutante!!! Imagine getting rid of a Paris Hilton off your body! LOL But I do look forward to the transformation. The good and the bad, it all brings balance. This is my time to purge out all of the old issues that I have, even if I don't see them now, they will come to the surface soon. Just a matter of time. But I am a firm believer that what you overcome, will make you a stronger person. And gives you an opportunity to help others going through the same thing. It is such a blessing to help others that you meet along our paths, going down the same road. Even if they don't seem to appreciate or understand it, you have planted a little seed and one day you hope it grows. I know there are some seeds planted in my life that are starting to take root and sprout now that people have left in my life.

Okay...I guess I better get my butt to bed. Some of you out there are the early birds, but never fear, I am your night owl protecting you while you slumber! LOL One more load day and I get to start my P2. Yippee!!!

Be blessed and have a wonderful day!

Tracey

November 29, 2007 - Holding Strong

2007-11-28T09:45:00.000-06:00

Well I am home from work. My hidradenitis has reared it's ugly head! Literally!!! For those that do not know what this is, it is a skin condition that resembles boils. UCK!!! Just took a hot soak in the tub to see if this will help it drain. So I thought I would get ramble for a bit!

Had a few questions on Byetta(exenatide). This is a newer drug for type II (adult onset) diabetes. For people on it , we refer to it as "lizard spit". The drug was discovered while research was being done of the properties in the salvia of the Gila Monster. The gist of the drug is that it slows down digestion so the insulin spike is not a quick spike and more like a slow move upwards. Thus you need to secrete less insulin. I think the reason I went so low the other day is because I took the drug after I ate and not before. Also you need to have some carbs to make this drug work most effectively. With is hcg diet and losing the weight, I hope to be off of this drug sooner than later. I started to develop a side effect of gastropherisis. Which is delayed stomach emptying that diabetes can get. My drug is doing it's job, but just a little to much! I also seem to get the side effects that only 2% of the population gets. So then I was prescribed Reglan to off set that side effect. Thank goodness that drug has been around and is cheap. But getting this weight off and not having to use the Byetta will save me money. It is around $200.00 a month. I still will probably still have to take my Glucophage(metformin) as my insulin resistance is really bad. Plus it helps with the PCOS.

Well I guess my furnance decided to act up while I am off today. Grrrrrr! But at least it was not tomorrow when I was back at work. The overflow pipe is clogged and backing into the furnance...water all over the basement floor. What a loving feeling when you are not expecting it. Things come in threes....so I will sit here waiting anxiously to see what happens next! LOL

Just reread and interesting post from Dr. Micheal Eades blog. Here is the link if anyone is interested reading it.

http://www.proteinpower.com/drmike/2007/11/15/learn-why-anthony-colpo-is-mad-and-get-a-free-book/

The article is regarding a Metabloic Advantage of a Low Carb diet. But the part that got me thinking and kinda of helps me understand the Hcg Diet a bit more. I can see how Dr. S has us not do fat while on the VLCD part of the plan. The low carbs lower our insulin levels and open the door to the fat cells. But it is the lower calories or lower fat that allows the our bodies to use the fat and thus lose the weight. It was interesting that how he had patients that were doing low carb and not losing weight until they lowered their calories. Will be interesting to find out. But I have much weight to lose to get there. 83 more lbs to lose! WOW! That is a lot of weight to get off this body, but with this diet it should get me there by late spring of 2008. Sometimes it is hard to wrap my head around that. Will be interesting to see how my attitudes with food and weight have turned around by then. But just to think I am in the 260's is unreal and I don't think my brain has really truly crasped that. By the end of the first full week of December, I could be in the 250's! Amazing!!!

Why has it taken me so long to address the weight? Was my heart not all in it? Was I holding on to past hurts? Knowing myself, probably a bit of everything. Sometimes I would get so frustrated that I would do things to the letter and everyone around me would lose weight and I would move the scales 5 lbs. I wanted to scream! Then go through a faze of I guess I was just destined to be fat, even though no one in my family is. And then have the medical community tell me that with diabetes it is harder to loose weight, you have strikes against you before you even start! FRUSTRATING...is just a mild word to describe those feelings. Well now with Hcg, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. It started out very weak, thinking..yeah sure, I have heard this story before. Works for everyone else but me! But now the light is getting brighter and I am almost 98% I will get to see the end of the tunnel. I think when I can get the next 20 lbs off the doubts in my mind will vanish. With my history of losing 15-20lbs and then my body stalling out, getting past that will help so much. Maybe I will enjoy shopping again! LOL Will be interesting to see how this journey continues and not have to worry about weight again!!! What kind of trouble could I get myself into...Evil Grin!

Okay..enough rambling today!

Be Blessed!

Tracey

November 26-27 2007 Another 1lb gone!!!

2007-11-27T00:23:00.000-06:00

Well I lost another 1lb this week. That seems to work out right...eating around 1200 calories per day on P3. My resting caloric intake is 1800. They say that to loose a 1lb you need to expend 3500 calories. So that is 500 decrease per day x 7 = 3500. And my body is doing some shift shaping too. Ooooo! feels like the X-files! Got a good look getting out of the shower this weekend and I think I need to start researching plastic surgeons. I will definitely need a tummy tuck, not that I think I need a rock hard stomach, just to remove the skin. I like a little pooch anyways. And the other good news I found out last week was another lady in the office had the skin removal surgery and our insurance covers it. So I won't have to wait forever to get it done. I carry all my fat in my stomach and abdomen. If I was a guy, I would just have a "beer belly". Now I am just a chick that hasn't had her "baby" for 15 years! I did get before pictures, I will have to take some updated ones and get those posted sometime.

Biz and Amy hit a couple things that I have been thinking about. Why am I ready for P2 again, and why is it sooooo cold!!!! Right after Thanksgiving I was thinking, I am ready for P2 again!!! Can't believe these words are even entering my brain. At first I thought I would do P2 back to back, because I thought once I was off I wouldn't want to go back on it. Well surprise, surprise, I do WANT to go back on P2. I wonder if this is a conspiracy! The old Tracey thinks so! Tonite I was even going over Renee's recipes to decide which ones I will start with for next week! I think this new me is growing!

And about this cold business, what is with this! I have never been this way, ever! I was always the hot blooded one. Well last weekend I went out and bought some long sleeve shirts at Shopko. Just to get mix in with my short sleeve ones. At work I am chilled and that is just not like me at all. Might even have to invest in a sweater to keep at work. Now the gals at the office would die seeing that one! Wonder where we could research this, maybe put a poll on the yahoo group. Speaking of the yahoo group, I haven't been getting my digest emails, went and checked my settings and it is still set to receive the digest and checked the bulk emails. So might have to send an email off to them.

Got off the phone tonight with my mother. Don't you just love them! LOL I love my mom dearly, but at times, her "advice" just gets in my craw. I have learned to ignore most of it and just let it go and let her ramble. It was funny, on Thanksgiving, I told her that I would have my load weekend, next weekend. Told her that I needed to eat as much fatten food as I could stand. She told me that just wasn't right and i have worked so hard to loose 23 lbs, that I should not do that. Told her that Dr. S said that is what you need to do. She told me, Well he must not have really meant that and I should eat lightly. LOL She cracks me up! Just looked at her and said, okay mom. Left it at that! Oh and tonight she let me know that I made a big mistake. In October I lost my bird, Cisco. Had him for over 15 years. Two weeks ago, I got a new bird. He is a hand-fed lovebird. Cute little sh*t! Named him Lafayette. At Thanksgiving dinner, somehow the conversation about Cisco came up and my cousin didn't know that he died. I explained what happen, that he got cancer. The first thing out of my mom's mouth was, "Well it was sad that he is dead, but she doesn't need any animals!" Shiela asked if I was going to get a new one, and mom answered "No she isn't!" I left it at that....no sense of arguing at the dinner table and tell her that I already had bought a new one! So today my dad came over to clean my gutters and he came in the house and saw the new bird. So I called him to thank him and mom got on the phone..."So, your father told me that you have a bird!" I thought you weren't going to get a new one!" I told her, no, that is what you said. I never said I wasn't. Told her it was strange coming into the house and having no one to say hello too. Then I got her good. Told her well I guess I could have just picked up some guy to keep me company...she paused for a minute. Then told me she thought I went for almost 2 months without a bird, she hoped that I was past the phase of getting a new one. But I did throw her off her rhythm for a moment! LOL

I have also figured out that I can't take my Byetta shots unless I have eaten alot of carbs now. Saturday I went for my massage. Get them every two weeks. I know the protocol says you are not supposed to have them while on the program. But I dare anyone to stop me! I need them just to keep me sane! Plus, I don't have some European woman named Helga giving them to me, neither! LOL My massages are not for manipulating my fat! She works on my muscles...hee hee. Loved when I read that in his book. Sounded like torture..I would kill someone if they massaged me the way he described. Plus I have never done any of the P1 things that Kevin Trudeau talks about. I know Dr. S talks about the oils, but I am not going to sweat that, I still lost during last P2. Anyways, after my massage I was hungry, so stopped at a dinner and got breakfast. Ordered and it came with hashbrowns. I didn't realized that when I ordered. Well I had a couple of bites and they were cooked very well, nice and crunchy. Wasn't to big a portion, so I ate them. When I got home it was less than an hour after I ate, so I decided to take my shot. About 2 hours later, started to get a headache and went for some motrin. All of a sudden I got the shakes, my whole body was shaking and I couldn't open the bottle. Tried to get my shakes to stop, but couldn't. So I decided to take my blood sugars. Well found the answer for my headache and the shakes, it was 38! Not good at all! So I ate a handful of chocolate chips and a handful of peanuts and then went into the living room and kept telling myself to not go back into the kitchen. I don't know if anyone else has dealt with hypoglycema, but when you drop low, you get an intense urge to eat!!! It is like you would knock an old lady over just to get to food. It is so crazy and intense. It is just amazing how your physical body will take over the mind, just to get what it needs. About 45 minutes later I got it back up to 77. I now know not to do that again. I will use the 10mg pen when I load this weekend, but after that I will only use the 5mg pen until I have more weight off and won't need to use the medicine anymore.

Well I better get this butt to bed, the X-files are starting and I haven't made it into the bed yet. Oh...and Santa is wondering what I want for Christmas, so let me know about the digital scales that everyone is using. Would like to let Santa know what brand works well.

Be Blessed!

Tracey

November 22, 2007 HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

2007-11-22T11:28:00.000-06:00

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!! Going over to mom and dad's this afternoon for a nice dinner with family. I have decided that I will have a spoon of potatoes and stuffing and of course a homemade roll I slaved over last night! LOL Mom called last night to let me know that she is adding more to the veggie tray and will have some veggies for me to take home...yummy!

What a minute! What was that last comment? Veggies...happy...yummy!! Ok, now I know for sure, an alien have taken over this body! LOL But when I really think about it, there is a foreign person brewing inside of me! Slowly growing and I can't wait to see how this new person develops and grows. So far, I think I am going to really like this new person. Since starting this plan, I have been mulling over why this plan, why now, what was my obstacles before. The last time I was truly successful on losing weight was back in the 80's. Once on the Diet Center, I think that was in 81 and WW in 86. Both plans I dropped about 3oish lbs. And the one thing that was constant on those programs is that I was by myself. I was just me doing it for me! The first time I was single and the WW my ex was out to sea. He was an officer in the Navy. I had lost weight when he was around, but never much and it never stayed off. I know we can't blame our weight on other people, but without him around now, there is so much less stress in my life. The stress does effect weight loss, well I am a firm believer in that thought. He was never an encourager. He was a black and white person, there was hardly ever a gray area in his thought processes. When I would ask for encouragement from him, his answer would be why?, just do it! Grrrrr... I would hate that! One of the reasons we are no longer together!

Still hanging in at 262 lbs! Last time I weighed that was 21 years ago! That is still sinking into my brain. Why have I waiting so long to due something about this? Was it the situations I was in? Did I not care about myself? Did I resign myself to the fate of being obese the rest of my life? I think there is a little bit of all of those that kept me from truly being at the place I am now. What changed to make this different? I don't know for sure. But one thing I do know is that the past few years I was just sick and tired!!! And tired of being sick!! Whether it was my thought processes or my physical body.

When I was diagnosised with diabetes I started changing my attitude towards foods, but still had that nagging thought in the back of my head...This is not fair...why can't I eat whatever I want! Oh this plan, I have really got that issued settled within me. I feel sooooo much better without all those starches in me. I have more energy, joints feel better, not as sluggish as I was. For whatever reason I am sensitive to starches. Whether it be gluten related, my insulin resistance, candidiasis or all of the above. My insurance at work has health coaches for certain diseases. You get a $100 dollars for participating. You do a little survey when you start and finish the program. My nurse told me that I had such a big difference in my energy question. She was impressed! I got her really interesting in the Hcg diet too. I think she took better to it, since my doctor offered it to me. LOL But now that I have a physical feeling to relate of feeling good, that helps my mind deal with deprivation. I now think of it as feel good or feel like sh*t! Which would you choose? I guess why the thought of naming my blog transformation hit me. Like a catepiller to butterfly, yep that is me! This new person inside of me is transforming and growing and changing. I can't wait to meet her!

Well I should start to get ready to go over to the folks, but one question I am posing to my fellow bloggers. I am going to ask Santa for a digital scale for Christmas! So get the word out and please post your suggestions. I want Santa to get me a nice reliable one. You guys are so wonderful with support and ideas, I knew I wanted to ask you about the scale!

Thanks for all your support and BE BLESSED!!!

Tracey

November 17, 2007 Nice Sunny day!

2007-11-17T13:29:00.000-06:00

I have lost 1 more lb! Yippee for me. That makes a total of 21 lbs. I am so thankful for this diet and the research and dedication that Dr. S had to solve something that he thought was a problem. Not posting my charts today...as I am at the car wash right now and just don't want to take the time. But will get them back up in my next post.

This week has been so hectic at work.. thought is was a full moon week! Maybe just a big hormonal surge when you have around 50 women working in the same area! LOL Was so nice to be able to put on my headpones and ignore the rest of the office...just get in my own little world. Only have taps on my shoulders when questions needed answers, but didn't have to listen to all the overall whining!! That is what drives me nuts...who cares who looked at who funny! Please women...go up!!! Ok..I will get off that soap box! LOL

Biz wrote in her blog the other day about noticing adding more carbs into diet and the effect of sinusits. I noticed that too earlier this week. I heard this voice calling me....it was a nice warm soft voice. "Tracey...come here...I have something to show you!" Didn't know my head has such a pleasant voice! LOL
Well after getting my crown put on this week, I stopped at a place that had biscuits and gravy. The car took over and went right into the drive thru...then that soft pleasant voice came out of my mouth...next thing I know the worker is handing me one biscuit and gravy! Don't know how that happened! hee hee But it tasted wonderful and hit the spot. But about 3 hours later I could feel my sinuses start to clog up. That can be a symptom for wheat allergies. I started to feel sluggish and brain foggy. I know that is part of my symptoms also when my blood sugars are out of control...but I tested and was 84. So that was not it. My boss has Celiac disease and this is how hers started too. She also gets constipated, joint aches, sinsuses and headaches. But hers is at a stage where it hits her almost immediately. Her mother almost died from it, was in the hospital for over a month, before they got her under control and well enough to be released. But I wouldn't doubt if alot of us have some form of wheat/gluten allergies. This causes internal inflammation. And some of the research that I have done regarding diabetes and people with weight gain and main stream diets don't work on....well they seem to have inflammation issues too. Just makes me kind of wonder.

Yesterday was food day at work, a gal was leaving. I did really good. There was a table of meats and cheeses. I was so proud of myself. Some fruit. Apples with a bit of peanut butter on them. Then about an hour later had to take something to one of the gals and I walked the back way to get to her desk. Well to my surprise there was a table with more food! And what did I see...oh some egg bakes, carmel and chocolate covered popcorn and brownies. Well I was able to resist the popcorn and brownies (they were store bought) but that soft pleasant voice from within..told me to try one of the egg bake things. I chose one. It was really good...the gal took stove top stuffing (cooked) and may a shell inside of the muffin tin and then cracked an egg inside and topped with cheese and bacon. Was really good...but about 45 minutes later...man...my blood sugars really hit me. They didn't go really high, but high enough that I was feeling crappy. Wanted to sleep, brain fog and seemed like I was having pure sugar running in my veins! Hate that feeling. I didn't have my byetta at work..otherwise I could have taken a shot and wouldn't have experienced that. But made me think about how carbs really effect ones body. Feeling like crap for the most of the rest of the day...all for some stuffing? Is it worth it? Will it hurt me to do it once in awhile? All questions to ponder and will probably always be thinking about. Most days I would say no...it isn't worth it. But somedays that sweet small pleasant voice just pops out of nowhere. Like an old friend that you haven't spent time with. You just can't wait to catch up, spend time with them. But at the end of the day you must go home.

This whole process is such a learning experience and some days we take one step foward and others two steps back. But like others of you and I have experienced. There is something different with this journey...seems like are brains are getting reprogrammed too. Maybe because we know this works, we know what to do if we too much of a good/bad thing. I don't know...but my whole mindset has changed with this. I don't feel like I have to test the waters to see how much I can get away with. I know when I am off plan, but like Biz wrote, if it doesn't taste like I thought it should or used to taste, it goes in the trash. Why eat it if the taste is just not there. I guess the one feeling that I can convey today is that...I feel CALM!!! Not lazy, just a nice steady and soothing feeling in my soul. I pray our growth continues on this journey and it deepens and enriches us. That we know who we are and what we need...geez all this from losing weight! WOOHOO!!! Let's enjoy the ride! I am sure it will be a great and adventourus one!!!

My car is ready!! Yippee...nice and clean! Got it detailed for the winter!

Take care everyone and BE BLESSED!!!!

Tracey

November 12, 2007 Made my goal!

2007-11-12T22:43:00.000-06:00

My Weight Chart:

Sorry I haven't posted in a bit. Time can really get away from you. Can't believe the year is almost over! Well last Thursday I had my weigh in for the end of P2. I needed to lose 2 lbs. And I did it!!!! Thanks everyone for sending those weight loss vibes. I was very proud of the loss. 20 lbs in 25 days! Also got my new bottle of Releana for the next round. I can go back and weigh again before i start it or wait until after two weeks into R2P2. But I will probably head back in again. Oh got my body compostion from the clinic...they have one of those fancy scales. My total Body water went from 101.5 to 99.5, my muscle mass went from 139.0 to 136.0, so that was really good..only lost 3 lbs of muscle. My fat mass when from 144 to 127. My BMI went from 45.6 to 42.5 and my Basal Metabolic rate went from 1971 calories to 1886 calories. So they advised me to keep my calories for P3 under 1500 to still have some weight loss. And at least get 90 grams of protein in per day. But I know that I will have more protein.

Today was my first day of P3 and I had a salad. I have been craving one with salad dressing. Had it with a chicken breast in it and some Marble jack cheese. Tasted so good. Tonight I had a ground sirloin patty and sauted mushrooms. So yummy! Now what will be interesting to watch is how my blood sugar handles the extra fat. Hopefully I won't have to start back up with my Byetta. I wanted to do this P3 to see how my blood sugars handle all of this. Such a balancing act. I can't wait till more weight is off and my body responds sooo much better.

I have been weighing everyday and watching the scale barely move...but I have to remember that I have a analog scale. So I don't get to jump up and down for my .2 or .4 losses. Maybe I can ask Santa for a digital one. That's a thought! I think I have been a good girl this year!

Well my buddie from Baton Rouge is buzzing me to work our challenges on Pogo.com, so I better get my butt to moving!

Everyone be blessed and the weightloss faires visit all of us!!!!

Tracey

November 6, 2007 - 2 lbs say goodbye!!!

2007-11-06T10:04:00.000-06:00

My Weight Chart:

Good Day everyone out there! I hope all is going well with eveyone out there. The north wind is starting to blow in, the sun is still shining, but dang that wind just whips right through you! I guess one positive to this is that your body will burn more calories staying warm!! Maybe I could ask to move my work outside for the day! Get that metabolism to get in gear! LOL But 2 more lbs off this body!!! It has not settled into my brain yet that I am in the 260's. WOW...I haven't seen these numbers since the mid 80's!!! 20 years...can you believe that! And my fat is going through a squishy stage. Love that...when i was on CAD diet, and I got squishy fat around my stomach...weightloss was right around the corner.

My last post I brought up the term Hcg Nazi Police. I have read everyone's comments and I want everyone to know that it was not aimed at anyone here. Just posts in one Yahoo group just stirred up the rebel in me. Just hit and nerve and to get it off my chest. I have an issue with the "one size fit all" mentality. I have had dealt with this for years. From diet plans to the medical community that can't get past the attitude that everyone will react the same and have the same results with a diet plan, illness, etc.

One of the worst I have had for an example of my many. I went Haiti on a 10 day missions trip. Wonderful experience I would recommend for anyone to do if they every have the opportunity! Well, we only had 2 meals a day. It would be considered a high carb and low protein diet. Pancakes for breakfast, pasta or rice and beans for dinner. Very little meat. ratio would be at least 3:1. And even though it was hot and humid, I stayed hydrated. Came back and noticed I gained 7 lbs!! What...how could that be! So I made an appointment with my doctor. Told him...something is wrong with me. There is no way I should have gained 7 lbs in 10 days only eating 2 meals a day. And they were not big portions either. He seemed to be listening to me and then he told me he had a diet plan for me. He went and got the diet and handed me the papers. I read the food list and suggestions of what to eat and not eat. Well it was a high carb diet!!!! I looked at him and said...you have not been listening to a word I have said to you! He told me to try it out..it will work. I told him that if I eat this way, I will come back in 1 month and have gained 20 more! I fired that doctor right then and there. Something just rose up in me and I finally got to the point where I was not going to take the "one size fits all" responses anymore! I am a crusader and have the strongest empathy for people that struggle with their weight or illness and that standard protocol just isn't working for them. Besides diabetes I also have big hormone issues, PCOS, hypothyrodism, Hidradenitis Supperativa, severe insulin resistance. So when I read someone getting chided for deviating off plan and the poster's words come across "holier than thou", it just hits me wrong. Now don't get me wrong...I love the interaction when people post for help and suggestions and people post back pointing out why something is not working or remind them of Dr. S's protocol. I guess my thing is the attitude on how it comes across. We all need to help and support one another....because it just get lonely fighting something by yourself. Now if you see me posting here or on a group that I just finished eating a nice big sesame seed bagel with a huge smear of cream cheese and I post that i didn't lose any weight and actually gained weight on P2.....Please ride me ass!!! LOL

One thing I that realized yesterday and feel it is a great accomplishment is that I have not had to use Byetta with my two meals! Yippee Skippy!!!! My doctor had given me a sample of a 5 mg pen in case I need that. I am currently on a 10 mg pen. But so far I have not had to use any at all!!!! I am hoping that during P3 I will not have to use it either. The real test will come when I start to add starches back into the diet. But by then...the loss of fat might help and I still won't need it. Diabetes and insulin resistance is a bitch! I have been experimenting with my night time med of Glyburide. I take 2.5 mg at night. The past week my morning numbers have been in the low 60's, which is really low for me. So the other night I decided not to take it and see what happens. Went to bed with blood sugars of 92. Woke up with b/s of 146! Go figure! It seems that I have the worst dawn effect ever! So last night I took my pill again and woke up today with my b/s being 92. So much better...so that one may take awhile to get off.

Amy, Amie, Biz ....thanks for all your support!!! Your words and experiences are inspiring to me!! Oh Amy...about that time of year that I lose the weight...It seems to be in the winter time, starts around January. Maybe I have an internal clock that goes off once a year. But looks like this Hcg has just kicked it's butt! I am a season ahead of schedule! LOL

Thursday the 8th is my next weigh in at the clinic. I will get my metabolic readings again and will post those. I think I am going to move to P3. I have the option of staying on P2 again, but I think I want to see how my body responds with the fat added back in with the diabetes. Plus I really want a salad with dressing! And then do P2 again after Thanksgiving. Then I will be ready for Christmas on P3 again. The Relena lasts around 26 days.

My partner in crime at work asked if it would be difficult to go back to the P2 again instead of staying on it for another round. I have pondered that and decided that it will not be difficult. I have lived almost a month without my mexican food. I will be able to do it again. I have confidence in myself that it can be done. I have never felt this way about an eating plan before. Ever!!! My mind has finally turned the corner and had decided that I am not depriving myself...I am making myself healthy physically and mentally. Now I just need to get this attitude for smoking.

So my goal for Thursday is 263 lbs. I need 2 more lbs to get there. Hope the fat gods are listening!!!

Thanks for reading!!

Tracey

November 4, 2007

2007-11-04T12:26:00.000-06:00

My Weight Chart:

Haven't posted in a little over a week. Just a hectic week...sometimes you just have to deal with crap you don't want too. But that is life...the good with the bad!

But it did get me to thinking about the weight that I am losing. Why am I losing it? Wasn't I happy with it? What are my true goals...have I even truly thought about them? Questions...questions...questions!!!! Is there ever and end to them? With me...probably not! Well I should say...when something resonates with my soul..it is settled. And until then..I am on a search!

A little history on my attempts of weight loss. With my diabetes, I have to be a carb watcher if I want to maintain good blood sugar levels. If you follow the ADA ( American Diabetes Associatons) diet. For most diabetes (type II) you will need more and more meds to control your diabetes. My humble opinion is that is set up that way. The disease associations work with and are funded big time by the pharmacy companies. Alas...lets keep the money rolling in!!! Okay...I better get off that rant...the focus should be on ME! LOL Anyway...my top weight was...drum roll inserted here... 325. I started this at 283. So that is 43 lbs in 4 years! I guess I really take the thought of slow weight loss is best...then you will have a better chance of keeping it off to heart! I guess the saying is true...haven't gained it back! Not saying that I couldn't if I tried, I would just feel like crap with my blood sugars out of whack! Didn't think diabetes could be a blessing in the weight loss category.

One thing that I have noticed is that my body has a 2-3 month span during the year that it will lose weight. For the past 4 years, I have eaten the same diet. I will go through a phase when I lose about 10-15 lbs. Then the rest of the year, I will play with the 5 lbs of going up and down. Do you know how frustrating that can be? I have dealt with it...until it seems like it is hopeless. Increasing exercise, watching my food more closely and nothing happens...gets to where I want to scream! I hate it..but it is my body.

Okay...all that to get to where I am at now. I am working this diet. I do have to deviate a little. But I am comfortable with that hope the Hcg Nazi police won't come after me! LOL I have to do what is right for my body and I will not take on any guilt from anyone, whether it was specially aimed at me or not. Just reading posts on the groups can make me question things. But I am past that and know what I have to do for myself. I am not advocating that you shouldn't stay on the plan that Dr. S states, but he has little advise for diabetics and I know how my body reacts to food. His advice for low blood sugar is to take 2 teaspoons of sugar. Well I spike to high and feel like crap! I instead just eat a handful of peanuts or some kind of nut or a piece of cheese and fight the rest of the hunger cravings until they pass. My blood sugar slowly rises back to normal and I don't feel like crap then. So I may not loose all I could have, but I can't get anal until I get to the point where my diabetes is under control with just food and exercise alone. My body chemistry is what it is and I just keep plugging away at it.

Had to get that down...was it to justify my "cheats"? Today I can say NO!! Last week it would have been a different answer, but I can't diet and have a cloud of guilt hanging over me. Not healthy for me at all! I have also decided that I can't weigh every day on P2. I was getting to frustrated with not seeing the numbers move like everyone else. When i went to weigh in at the clinic, they told me not to weigh everyday on this phase. I will have to on P3, but I am okay with that. I will be weighing to maintain. Something totally different than looking for a loss.

Well I need to get some work done around here and get some meals cooked for the week. So tomorrow I will go over some more thoughts that have been floating around in my mind!

Take care and be Blessed!!!

Tracey

2007-10-26T00:05:00.000-05:00

Well I think I might have lost something...but with this darn scale...it is not digital can't tell exactly. So I will leave my weight as 269. It better move in the morning! LOL I am still eating on plan, so it better move. But my body has been known to do strange things. I felt pretty good today and had hunger at the appropriate time. Did have a little dip in my blood sugars this afternoon, but it was at 4:30. So I was able to get home and eat early tonight. Missed my water aerobics...but I didn't want to chance driving home with low blood sugars...I would have had to drive by my favorite Mexican restaurant. LOL Don't need that temptation!!!! I think the margherita is more tempting than the food right now.

Started my list for more things to get at the store this weekend. I want to make up a few soups so I can have for lunches and stuff. I am a terrible prograstinator at certain things...and making meals ahead of time is one of them. So I hope to get organized with my meals this weekend.

Oh...Biz, on your comment...The belly dancing doesn't make me more hungry, if that is what you were wondering. I have a later class, so I eat before I go. And since we are not stuffing ourselves on this meal plan, i don't get that sick feeling from working out after eating.

Sweet Dreams!

Tracey

October 24, 2007 - Belly Shaking Night!

2007-10-24T22:52:00.000-05:00

Well no change in the weight this morning. But I didn't wake up to pee either! LOL I am getting my water levels back up!!! Been making runs to the little girls room tonight...so that is a good sign! Well I was able to eat my meat today with out gagging!! Yippee!!! I think what i am getting is a little bit of the fake morning sickness. I was fine this morning... 3 minutes after taking my Hcg my stomach got that blah feeling again. After reading so stuff...this is what I am figuring. It is funny... once my mind finds a reason, it calms down so much! And here I thought I was trying to sabotage myself. ( well, not at least this time!) I am still elated with the inches lost, I think I am still on cloud nine! No hunger pains today...not until it was time to eat. Blood sugar was good and stable today too. Over all was a great day!

Now about this belly shaking! What could that be? I take a belly dancing class once a week. It is so much fun! And today, it just seemed a little easier doing some of the moves. WOOHOO!!! Didn't sweat as much either.....now that is a good thing! I haven't bought a hip scarf with all those shiny and noisy coins on it yet. Could tie it around the hip..but just looked to funny with an inch to spare on the tags that hang down. LOL So when I get a few more off. That is going to be my next treat to myself... a brand new hip scarf to shake away so I can listen to my hips shaking away!

I want to thank everyone that has left comments...it is a real encourgament to find them. Nice to have comrades in the journey. And I love being inspired by everyones blogs here. Love it!!!

Night everyone!

Tracey

October 23, 2007 It's been a week!

2007-10-23T22:03:00.000-05:00

My Weight Chart:

Well I am another 1 lb down!!! WOOHOO!!!! I think it could have been more...but I didn't get enough water in for the last 3 days. Always hard for me to remember on the weekends, which i am going to make an effort next weekend. And I was sick yesterday.

I am starting to have an eating issue, that I hope to nip in the bud. Start to gag when I eat meat. Not a good thing. Can't figure it out yet....when I am not dieting I don't have an issue. Maybe it is my subconscious tyring to sabotage me. The old signals kicking in...but taking a different road to get me. Will this always be a struggle? Time will tell. Good thing that overall I am an optimist!!! Otherwise it would be a killer!

Oh...took my measurements....lost 9.25 inches!!! YIPPEE!!!!

Neck 17.75 to 17.5
Upper Arm 13.5 to 13
Fore Arm 11 to 10.75
Bust 52.5 to 52
under bust 45.5 to 44.5
mid waist 53 to 51
waist 58 to 57
hips 58.5 to 57
thigh 24 to 22.5
calf 18.5 to 18
ankle 10.5 to 10

Very encouraging....can't wait to get rid of the stomach....looks like I am 9 months pregnant! Ugh! Okay...better get relaxing here and get a couple games in on Pogo and then head to bed.
Another day closer to the new me!!!!

Tracey

October 21, 2007 Some rough days!!!

2007-10-21T13:49:00.000-05:00

My Weight Chart:

I am amazed at this plan...but it makes sense. Around 500 calories a day...you are bound to lose weight. My brain and those old tapes that we keep there just have to get used to seeing the numbers. My thoughts are telling me...yeah...you lost 13 lbs. But you have lost 13 before, what is going to keep you from gaining????? I am working on getting these tapes erased...but dang...it takes time. I am such an ecourager for everyone else...I just have to learn to be an encourager to myself. I deserve this!! Now I just need to get my psyche to realize it!!!! LOL

I have been heavy or big boned all my life....it has been part of me and I know I will go through some greiving losing her...but it is for the best. My old body needs to die to let the new one be born. I didn't put my most weight on until I was married. Had about 10 years of close to or around 300 and over in weight. Now that I am divorced...I can see part of my patterns. I don't like to give up on things...My marriage should have ended 10 years before it did....lasted 20 years. Always holding out for that last thread of hope. I guess I followed that through with my weight issues...always holding out. I thought I was happy with myself...but you know looking back, and hindsight is so revealing, I was complacent...just getting by. But I deserve more than that. I deserve the best!!!! The best for me!!!! Whatever that is....I deserve it. My new little mantra that I have to keep beating into my brain...until it sticks! LOL

Well I have completed my first week of P2. It has been interesting. I have diabetes. So adjusting my meds and taking my blood sugars through out the day to make sure I don't go to low. I also have IBS. So this has made this diet somewhat interesting. My veggies are doing a number with the IBS. Thursday, the sh&t really hit the fan!, literally! Friday I was a bit better in that area...but then I had a crash in my bloodsugars!!!! What a day!! I had to eat to bring it back up...or else if ignored is not a good thing! I had two saltine crackers and two m&m's. It brought it up to 80, so I stopped. But the rest of the day I felt like crap. Came home and slept for 3 hours. Felt better when I got up. Another thing I have noticed is I do have alot of hunger pains. But if I let it go to long, when I try and eat...I have to force myself. I don't like that feeling. I get to wear I almost want to gag to get the food down. Have to figure out something to do about that. But the veggie thing is the biggest hurdle for right now. I wonder if there are other veggies that can be eaten without the IBS side effects. Will have to try and experiment and see what happens. I know it may cause not as much of a loss, but any loss is better than none. It has taken me awhile to put on the weight...I am not looking for quick fixes...just a jump start. In the past 4 years, my body has goes through a weight loss phase...about 3-4 months in the fall going into winter. I can lose about 10-15 lbs and pretty much keep most of it off. I will eat the same way through out the year and body won't budge. I would get so frustrated!!!

My doctor has a weight loss office as well as his internal med office. He suggested that I go to them. My blood levels are good in all areas except for my triglycerides. They are over 400 and he said the only thing left to do is loose weight. So I went to his weight loss center. They offer two plans. I is like Optifast..Medifast plan with the shakes and meals. The other is Releana. I opted for the Releana and even though it is extreme. I like the fact that the Hcg resets your metabolism. So I am in the first cycle of Phase 2. I know I will need to do it again. But maybe my body will get to a point where I can just lose with my regular excerise and a low carb diet. But I will cross that road when I get there....just have to remember one day at a time.

October 18, 2007 - First Post...First Blog!!!!

2007-10-19T00:22:00.001-05:00

My Weight Chart:

Well this is my first post on this blogger thingy. LOL I started the Hcg diet on 10/13 with 2 load days and the VLCD on 10/15. I weighed today for the first time and I am down 8 lbs!!! I think it is a motivator that I needed. I am praying that this continues....so far no cravings...and no major hunger pains. Hope this lasts!!!!

This weekend will play with this blog and see what damage i can do to it. and decide how I want to lay this all out....